Hey self doubters, what you're looking for is intrinsic motivation. What you'll find here is why it's absolutely vital.
An open letter to Tim Bergling (AVICII): a story about love, mental health, self doubt, and how creatives put their heart on the line.
Dear Tim,
It’s Joao, at 12:24pm on a blustery Wednesday afternoon. Snow, ice, and slush have taken over West Yorkshire, and I can’t stop thinking about your story.
Tim Bergling’s story is currently streaming on Netflix’s: Avicii - I’m Tim, an introspective look at the life and creative process of the EDM superstar Avicii or as he was known by his friends and family: Tim.
Sadly ,Tim took his own life at the age of 28.
His posthumous documentary continues to ring the bell on the topics of mental health, suicide, and our never ending pursuit of happiness.
At it’s heart it is a love story: of your love affair with music.
Your unrelenting passion to find the perfect melody, vocals and chords, wrapped up in a neat package. The love that your friends and family had for you, extrapolated by the love of the global EDM community.
It is a story of conflicts: ego vs. self, creativity vs productivity, vulnerability vs. sustainability, confidence vs. self doubt, intrinsic motivation vs. extrinsic motiv
About how tired you were of wearing the ‘Avicii’ mask, and wished you were just able to be Tim, at home, on stage, and to the world.
A realisation that brings many of us to the same feelings of anxiousness, restlessness and depression. Tim, you mirrored the feelings of many young men today.
Your love of music had its peaks and valleys. A constant struggle with making music for pure enjoyment, which was heavily weighed down by its need to sell.
This, alongside the non-stop touring and medicating with drugs and alcohol, took its toll on your body, mind, and spirit.
My wish is your life will steer us in the right direction.
One that values creativity over productivity, that embraces each individual as they are and supports vulnerability with vulnerability.
I found myself in poetry, like you did in music. But even with all that success you had all that doubt.
A self-doubt that is still so prevalent in the creative community. Maybe it’s what drive us as creatives?
We will never know if what we create is ‘good enough’. The relationship between the art, the artist, and the viewer is often where this sense of value comes from.
But if Rick Rubin has taught us anything, its this:
We cannot disagree with a diary entry. It’s yours. It’s your experience.
Let’s hold onto this idea for as long as we can, and ask it to help us shift from valuing external praise to an internal peace that comes with simply creating.
It’s a hard juxtaposition, one I think you so anxiously lived through, Tim. Self worth so wrapped up in proving it to others that you just lose yourself.
I was heartbroken when you took your own life. Is this what it cost to put your heart on the line? To create with every fibre of your being?
Maybe, I saw a lot of myself in you. The shy, introspective young man, yearning to shed my mask and be my true self.
Maybe, because I now have a son of my own, and it would break me to know he had a darkness inside of him so deep that ending it all seemed the only viable option.
But, your father is continuing to fight the good fight.
He is demanding record labels be more accountable in the way young artists are managed, pushing suicide prevention to the political forefront and a 50- year plan to cement your legacy.
A legacy like yours that needs us all to keep sharing stories like yours. If I could ever speak to you in person Tim, I would use the words of
:
If you, or someone you know is struggling today and needs support please, please reach out. Also here is an action line for UK residents. US Residents
All the love,
Joao x